WADA - PAV

8th August, 2009

Yuvraj Singh
Wherever you live.


Dear Yuvraj,

Subject - SHUT UP

It is now a common knowledge that you, the legendary Yuvraj Singh, son of the not so legendary Yograj Singh, have made comments about how difficult it is for the Indian cricketers to cope up with their schedule replete with days that they have to spend on advertisement campaigns and a plethora of other such non-cricketing activities. In total agreement with your claim, I am not surprised that the only time your family and an extended family of several hundred ex-girlfriends and several thousand bed time partners actually get to see you is when you are seen applying that sticky gooey thing called parachute hair gel in a TV commercial. My heart goes out to those who miss your company.

I applaud your courage of having said something like, and i quote, “We play cricket 9-10 months a year and our concern is whatever free time we get, we should be left to ourselves,” in front of, i believe, a good number of journalists. It definitely wasn't bravado or foolhardy, one could have seen that in your eyes, had it not been for those goggles. I am sure most people believe that its a misconstruction to say that you meant that other sports require the players to submit themselves for much lesser than 9-10 months; because if it is not a misconstruction, then you are in for some serious decline in your cool quotient that wins you your daily bread, but we don't have anything to worry about, do we?

On further analysis, I was also forced to conclude that your statement is not, like a few claim, hypocritical, at all. A couple of years ago there was talk of the cricketing calendar not giving the players any allowance for social activities, but of course the BCCI started the Indian Premier League only after they received a parcel of a few hundred Time-Turners from the Ministry of Magic for the players. Isn't that how the players manage now, 'magically', to play throughout the year, without as much as a grunt or a moan from even the injured players, especially openers. Of course the handbook of magical cure for injuries does not tell you how you can twirl that little time-turner around your shoulder to send off the poor pain sometime in history. If only this WADA-BCCI dispute hadn't surfaced, people would never have come to know that Indian cricketers are actually the gladiators from the past who work part time to save the face of Indian cricket in return of a modest pay package. So humble are the Indian cricket team members.

Unfortunately WADA does not understand how precious is the privacy of our gladiators from the past. Who better could the BCCI find to comment about the WADA problem than you, the omniscient? All Sachin probably knows about WADA is that it tastes better with a pav. A cloud of apprehension surrounds me every time I think about how the cricketers would face the formidable might of the WADA officials the terminators, the undertakers. I believe you share my apprehension when you think about what you would say if they, the WADA officials, come knocking at your door, and ask you which pill you had after last night. Who says contraceptive pills are for the fairer sex only; the revoking of the section 377 might have changed a lot of that.

Come what may, loyal fans like me shall always stand by you. I would like to add before concluding that i am moved by your sportsmanship and courage. Keep up the good work, it will do the Indian cricket a world of good if you could turn that one last 100 billionth Indian into a cricket-maniac.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,

Prakash Padukone
(Deepikas dad, remember?)